Love isn’t the sort of word you use lightly, yet, it’s all around us. Love is a mother giving her daughter her last bite of food; it’s the friend giving her peer a hug after she’s had a long day; it’s the boyfriend grabbing his girlfriend coffee in the morning. It’s all love.
Love isn’t just shown through physical things you do, but it’s also displayed through forgiveness, patience, and kindness. Love can be found in every corner of the world, yet we all seem to define love differently.
How do teenagers define love opposed to adults?
Are Teenagers Capable of Love?
A general understanding of what love is implies that it’s simply (or not so simply) “… an intense feeling of deep affection.” But then, are teenagers capable of such depth? No adult I’ve spoken to on this matter has the firm opinion that teenagers are incapable of love, but some believe teenagers are not capable of being “in love,” or the kind of love you see in movies. However, teenagers are capable of other types of love. Let’s discuss.
Ms. Carlson, a long-standing seasoned faculty member at Hills believs that teenagers are not capable of romantic love. “I think teenagers are capable of care. I think they think they’re in love. But until you fully know yourself, how can you give yourself up to another?”
In comparison, “less-seasoned” teacher Ms. Romano stated, “Teenagers have the ability to be in love, but it doesn’t always stay that way. With age and maturity, things like quality, attention, and consistency matter more.”
Both adults believe that teenagers can love, but whether or not teenagers can be in love is where they differ in opinion.
Hills students believe they’re capable of love, but not always capable of maintaining it. Senior Isabel Arismendi says, “Yes we can love, but not every teenager can experience romantic love. That takes maturity, which is not something all kids have until later.”
Senior Nerik Carangui agrees. “Yes, teenagers can love but not every teenager has the depth to be in love. It really depends on the person.”
So, are teenagers capable of love? Absolutely.
What Does Love Look Like in Teenagers?
A ballpark understanding of how love translates in teenagers’ lives, most agree that love for the young requires less commitment and less maturity. Ms. Romano says, “Love depends on the person and the level of commitment depends on the people that are involved.”
In a similar fashion, senior Isabel Arismendi says, “Love requires effort and ability to first know who you are and what you need, and then you can be able to love someone else.”
Senior Nerik Carangui describes it as “…not waking up to someone every morning and seeing them every day, it’s being there for someone during their worst moments and choosing to stand by them anyway.” F
Senior Anthony Bravo said perhaps the most honest and self-aware answer on the topic. He said, simply, “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
Teenagers do experience love, our research and interviews acknowledge, but they experience it differently, some might say, perhaps on a more surface level. Historically, and culturally, we might refer to young love as “puppy love” or “underdeveloped love.”
What Does Love Look Like in Adults?
Most people agree that love is commitment. Love is sacrifice. Love is knowing exactly who you are and yet being able to give of yourself completely and selflessly to another person. Ms. Carlson agrees with this assessment, stating, “Love is being selfless with another person after a lifetime of being selfish.”
Ms. Romano concurred, saying, “Love is uncomplicated when it’s real, and people make it more complicated than it has to be. There are different expressions of love and many, many versions of love. Humans make things complicated.”
Is there a Difference Between Adult Love and Teen Love?
That is, in fact, the question of the ages, and relevant to this pending Valentine’s Day: Is there a difference between the young love of teens and the adult love of older generations? It would appear that our research and personal interest on the topic would dictate that there is very much a difference between the two types of love. Teens experience love differently and respond to love with different sets of behaviors and definitions of commitment. They love furiously and fast, and love hard. Older generations see and feel love inside a lens of longevity, the context of their lives, the desire and ability to sacrifice and a better understanding of who they are and what they need in a partner and in a love connection.
Whether or not one type is better or not depends on who you are, where you are in life and how you see things. One thing is for sure, and one thing we all have in common: love is something that we all experience, in one form or another, at some point in our lives. That’s got to be a good thing, I think.
